Plants First, Fish Next

The original intent of this journal was to chronicle the trials and tribulations of the struggling twenty-something, as I searched for love and happiness in the small city-burb of ManchVegas, NH. Now, I'm thirty-something, I've found love in many forms, happiness in even more, and now the struggle is just... well... life. And finding time to do the million and one things I want to do- including writing.

Monday, September 27, 2010

What a difference a year makes

Last year I wasn't a runner.

Last year I was coming out of a truly terrible relationship.

Last year I had no savings and thousands of dollars of debt.

Last year I lived in a funky but dumpy apartment.

Last year I invited my 18-year-old cousin to be my roommate.

Last year I made a decision to follow my heart.

Last year I decided I wanted to be happy.

This past year I've run in 14 races, logging several hundred miles on road and trails.

This past year I've made changes in my budget, working towards greater freedom and personal wealth.

This past year I became a pet owner.

This past year I expanded my family of friends.

This past year I moved to my very own apartment. All on my own.

This past year I opened my heart and life to a man who makes me crazy happy.

This past year I've done things I never thought I'd do.

This past year I've been happy.

Right now. I'm happy.

There are still things I struggle with daily. My job has given me a certain amount of financial freedom, but it also takes a lot of energy to fight the negativity I encounter every day. I've saved a nice chunk of change, but no where near the "3 months of expenses" recommended, never mind play money. I still have debt, although I've been whittling it down. I spend a lot of time away from home, and although I love what I'm doing when I'm out, I wonder why I pay my rent some days.

Still, a year and a half after I asked The Boy to leave, I can honestly say I've never looked back. When he left I made the choice to be happy. That choice led to me really getting into hockey, realizing I needed to be more in shape to play better, jogging to get into shape. I reconnected with friends, and rediscovered what I like about myself. Most importantly, I decided that I did NOT need to compromise what I want for a man or a relationship.

But a decision is just that- a decision. Putting that choice to the test in real life is a different action. So far I've enacted that choice quite well in my personal relationships, though I must admit sometimes I have to work myself up to it. But just like running, one must train and practice to stay in shape.

I'm starting to carry this choice over to my professional life. The financial freedom I've gained allowed me to make the catalystic change of being on my own and independent. It hasn't come without it's problems, and compromising myself has been one of them. As I work to re-draw the lines at my current job, I also search for perhaps a better fit.

What a difference a year makes.

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