How Much is Too Much?

Hi, my name is Leeapeea, and I'm an over-commiter.

It started when I was in Junior High. I think I always had a penchant for it, but I was about 13 years old when I joined afterschool clubs for the first time. I found friends there - friends that wanted to do things with me. Fun things. Like hang out in the Dunkin' Donuts parking lot, or watch TV, or see a movie. I'd never had friends before, and I relished the attention.

The trend of having friends that wanted to do things continued through high school, college, and beyond. When I was a kid in NJ I never had friends. At times I had *a* friend, but never *friends.* I love my friends. I love that they love me. When I have nothing to do, the lonely little 7-year-old inside me taunts that no one likes me.

I have a wide array of interests - theatre (as an actor, director, and designer, and audience member), hockey, running, GOOD television, movies... I also like doing things. I like feeling accomplishment, learning something new, being told a story, feeling, living.... And I find that an experience shared is enhanced.

All of these things lead to over-commitment. These last few weeks have been full of it. I've double booked a few days, scheduling back-to-back events. I haven't been able to spend time with Fred or do laundry or dishes in a timely manner.

I realize that this is all a result of the choices I made. And I still want to keep ALL of these commitments! I just want them to be a little more spread out. Or maybe I need to invent a "pause" button... like in Fermata, only less dirty.

... ok, maybe a little dirty....

Ahem.

As I've been thinking about this the last few days, mostly in my car going from one place to another, I've come up with a plan. I will save one weekend day and one week day. I will leave them "blocked off" to other plans. I can use them for last minute things, or to do laundry, or to read a book in the tub. I will cancel plans if I have to - something I absolutely hate to do. But for my mental sanity I may need it. I will FORCIBLY slow myself down.

... yeah, I don't believe me either, but it's worth a shot. :-)