Plants First, Fish Next

The original intent of this journal was to chronicle the trials and tribulations of the struggling twenty-something, as I searched for love and happiness in the small city-burb of ManchVegas, NH. Now, I'm thirty-something, I've found love in many forms, happiness in even more, and now the struggle is just... well... life. And finding time to do the million and one things I want to do- including writing.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010


This is the second week I've played two hockey games in a row, even though we're four weeks into the season.  Already this season I'm feeling much more confident about my playing, and I'm having a lot more fun while I'm on the "ice."

The two teams (Nerd Herd on Mondays and Jets on Tuesdays) have pretty different dynamics, even though teams share not only a captain and goalie but also 4 other players (including myself).  Though in general I feel the Jets have a greater number of more experienced players, the team and the league feels like Nerd Herd circa season 3-4: we know what we're doing, so do our opponents, but no one's got a super-gelling team out there.  I think by the end of the season we'll all know each others' style much better, and the plays will come (I hope).

While I love my Herd, the last season and a half have been tough.  We've gotten to the playoffs with good strength twice.  Tasting the sweetness of victory has changed things- some for better some for worse.  I love everyone on the team; we've been together for at least a season and a half, many folks have been on the team since day one or I've known for years (ie decades).  Socially, it's the best group you could know.  However, the last season and a half has also seen a lot of negative energy, in part due to ignorant officiating, and in part to a misdirected competative spirit.  I came out of most games last season sad about my performance and even sadder at the shitty mood of the team.

This past weekend I played hockey with a bunch of the guys in an informal "pickup" type game.  All the other guys were on rollerblades, but since me + wheels = death I played the game on foot.  So, um, you guys, I guess we invented wheels 'cause it makes moving shit around a lot easier.  IE, I ran my ASS off.  But I played pretty well.  Not crazy awesome, but really solid.  Scored a goal, which is more than I can claim for my social leagues.  Got props from some of the guys who have been playing since they popped out of the womb.  I was exhausted by the end of the 4 hours of playing, but so SO happy.  And I realized I knew a lot more about hockey then I had previously thought.  I realized what a rut I was stuck in, mentally.  I realized I should trust my instinct and have faith in my abilities. 

I finally got my head on my shoulders.  All last season I thought I had lost it.  I felt like crap about my playing after every game.  I missed most of the passes, I got upset, beat myself up.  I'm so glad my faith in myself is restored.  I know playing with other people in a different environment has been a big part of this change.  Discarding the negative feelings I was carrying with me, part of which I was pulling in from other people (being empathetic has its advantages - not in hockey).

So.... yeah, my hip's kinda bothering me.  More than it has.  I totally over used it though, it's my fault.  Saturday 4 hours of hockey in 15-20 degree weather, Sunday 16 miles on the bike, 2miles and change running, Monday hockey, Tuesday hockey...  I'm limping like a grandma this morning.  I do my stretches and sometimes even do my exercises, but it's all for naught if I keep overusing my muscles.  I'm working on re-starting my half-marathon training, and I'll be sticking to it.  2 miles is WAY more of a struggle than it should be at this point in the process, but I need to make sure I don't overdo "recovery."

In the meantime.... I'm moving.  Probably in April or May.  It's a more emotionally charged process than I ever thought it could be.  More on that soon.  The storms just gaining momentum and it's hard to see clearly at the moment....

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  • At 10:03 AM , Blogger Suz said...

    remember that all of this is supposed to be fun - like with theatre - when we start carping and whining then it's time to take a break - this injury could be a good thing if it forces you to back off from some of the overachieverness you are expressing and relax a little - that's when the fun comes back!

  • At 7:10 PM , Anonymous SmartyPants said...

    Suz is a smart lady. :)

  • At 9:56 AM , Blogger Heather said...

    I love that you've found your hockey glow again. Just don't get hockey hair to go along with it.


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